Armenian String Cheese

That's right gang. Today it's all about Armenian string cheese. What is Armenian string cheese? I have no frickin idea. Gather round and I'll tell you a story.

Back in February my boss sent me a link to this site selling cheese art. The guy was manipulating wire and turning it into a sculpture of cheese. Cool right? So, I sent them an email asking which cheeses were still available. I picked five cheeses that I would love to have. I told them why each of those cheeses was near and dear to me. I gave them a link to my blog so they would know I wasn't just some flake. The email I get back says that of my five choices, only two are available and I'll get one of those. Yippee! I am filled with glee!

Weeks go by and nothing has been shipped. I send an email only to get one back gently reminding me that they did say it was going to be a while before they started shipping. Maybe I am a little bit of a flake.

Over a month goes by and I'm wondering where my sculpture is. Their website says that almost everyone's is out in the mail. I enter my email address and there's no record found of my order.

I send them another email. I let them know that I still haven't received my sculpture and now their website says I don't even have an order. An email comes back assuring me that my order will be on its way and that I shouldn't worry.

Yesterday I come home from work and Huzzah! I have a package! It has my cheese sculpture I just know it! I scoot up the stairs and rip it open like a kid on Christmas morning.

WHAT IN THE NAME OF DAIRY QUEEN IS THIS?!

Sometimes your brain tricks you. When what you're looking at is impossible for you to rationalize UFO's, Britney Spears' "acting" it tricks you into thinking you're seeing something else. Something comfortable. Something that won't make your head explode.

What I saw when I opened the box was a sculpture of Emmenthal. I thought to myself, "Oh, that's so weird. He spelled it wrong." I blinked once, twice, three times a lady and realized the cold hard truth.
IT'S ARMENIAN STRING CHEESE!

I do not want to offend anyone out there who loves Armenian String Cheese. I'm sure it's lovely. I got on the phone to my cheese people. They were flummoxed. I've never had it. I've never seen it. I don't know anyone who has eaten it or seen it. Some had heard of it, but as far as I'm concerened this is the Loch Ness Monster of cheese. The Bigfoot of the dairy world.

I am so bummed out. I wait three months for my sculpture. Three months of deciding where I'm going to hang it, if I should put it in a display box so nothing happens to it. I spend months thinking about how much fun it's going to be to blog about it and to bring it into work like I'm a third grader going to show and tell. And it's a cheese I've never even heard of and can't find. CURSES!

I have sent them an email asking them in the politest way I know how to fix it. In the interest of being an adult I will attempt to tell you about Armenian String Cheese. If anyone out there has any Armenian String Cheese knowledge, let me know.

So Wikipedia says,

In Slovakia, a traditional string cheese Korbáčiky is made^[1] which is a salty sheep milk cheese, available smoked or unsmoked. Traditionally made by hand pulling steamed sheeps' cheese into strings and braiding them. Machine milk versions are also available.^[2][3]

In Armenia, traditional string cheese is made with a white base. The type of milk used usually comes from an aged goat or sheep depending upon the production methods of the area of choice.^[4] It includes black cumin^[5] and a middle-eastern spice known as mahleb, and it comes in the form of a braided endless loop.^{[citation needed]} The cheese forms strings because of the way it is pulled during processing. There is also Syrian cheese processed this way. Other cheeses are only cut and pressed, not pulled, and don't develop strings.

I was also able to find a recipe for this cheese online. It sounds interesting. It sounds a heck of a lot better than the K***t string cheese that smells and tastes like plastic. It's just not what I've waited three months for. I was supposed to have Monte Enebro or Clochette. CURSES!

I got an email back from the curator apologizing for the mix-up. They are going to send me one of the cheese sculptures I was promised.