Thursday, November 3, 2011

I am a Goat

Last night while I was trying to find some type of visual entertainment to help me ignore the fact that I'm swimming in a sea of melancholy ick I finally figured out the underlying cause of my ennui and sadness.


I'm not talking about my astrological sign*, I'm talking about those super cute milk-giving quadrupeds that I love.  In addition to being smart, clever and cute, goats are social animals.  They need non-human (preferably goaty) friends to play and live with**

I think that it's the same with cheesemongers and other cheese folk.  We need to have other geeks to talk to about cheese.  We need other people to get really excited about new cheeses on the market.  We need to share photos and stories from festivals and conferences.  We need our herd.

Since leaving Chicago and moving back to Vermont I have been without my people.  Instead of being surrounded by cheese-lovin' fools I have a boss who says "It tastes like cheddar" every time she tries a cheese that she doesn't like.  There is mockery over my cheese excitement.  No one else has turned one of their veggie crispers into a cheese box.

I miss my herd.

Then in august I went to the ACS conference and was surrounded by people who love cheese.  Almost every meal had cheese, the seminars were full of cheese, I even volunteered to help set up the "Festival of Cheese".  There were cheese events, pairings, and chatter.  I went out to eat with other cheese-minded people and even though we didn't always get the cheesiest dish, it was great being surrounded by my people.

Upon finding out what I was doing for work in Vermont, one of my cheesemaker friends asked me a simple question "why?"  We spoke about "why" and I tried to answer the question not just for him, but for myself also.

Since coming back from the conference I've been listless, sad, depressed, filled with ennui and unable to write.  Each time I tried to write something I would think about how much I miss the cheese-filled part of my life, or how much I missed my cheesy Chicago friends.

I miss my herd.

Last night it occurred to me that nothing is wrong with me, I'm just a goat who needs other goats to frolic with.  I am going to attempt to get myself out of this funk.  One of the ways I'm going to do this is by writing again.  Every week I am going to write something about cheese.  I am not going to obsess about it.  I am not going to get hung up on the imperfections of my grammar or the fact that I like to make up words that don't exist in the english language.  I am not going to worry about making sure it's polished, and then getting so o.c.d. about it that I end up not writing anything.  I'm just going to write.

Hopefully this exercise will help me recapture my cheese joy and will give me a virtual herd of cheese enthusiasts.

*My astrological sign is capricorn, but this blog is about cheese, not signs or planets.  Although I don't read my horoscope, or put much stock in astrological signs, it is pretty clear that the traits associated with my sign can also be attributed to my favorite barnyard creatures.

**One of my girlfriends had some pet pygmy goats a few years back.  While the three goats enjoyed playing with each other, one of the goats developed a strong bond with my girlfriends' big boxer dog.   I've also heard that goats will bond with horses and other farm animals, they just need more than what we humans can give them.


blogmother said...

I've lived with a goat for years, so I've been through this before.

So many times, you're so excited about the subject, and only the herd comes close to understanding what's significant and giving acceptance. Seemingly, everyone else just doesn't get it - or care nearly enough.

All I can say is, nah.

ezzirah said...

You have a herd dear, we are out here and with you if only in spirit.

Yeah, have fun with your blog! Some of the best blogs I read are the ones that are just written honestly.

Nice to see you post!

Cheesewench said...

Thanks for the kind comments, and to everyone who sent me lovely emails. You guys are the best herd!